Embracing Changes – Part I


Since I started this current incantation of my Blog my wife has been, on and off, helping me with edits. English being my second language, my grammar can be weak at time … OK … most of the time. Elizabeth reads my posts and corrects them before I post them … but not the last few. She has not wanted to do it.I asked her and her answer: ”Dude … it is boring to me”

She liked the posts that have a personal human interests, like my moving to the US or about my kids or her … of course, she loves it when I write about her. I agree that some of my business and technology posts can be boring for somebody that does not carry an interest in the subjects. As I went through the list of topics I have been collecting she suggested that I wrote about change but from an emotional point of view, not corporate.

So here it goes. This post is for her….

———————————————-

Life is change and to live is to be exposed to constant change. So you might as well embrace it and enjoy it ….. if it was that easy!!

Throughout our lives we go through so much. We start when we are born. We exchange the comfort of our mother’s womb for the coldness of the world. And we cry. And if we did not cry, we are made to cry. It is the indication that we are alive. What does that say about us?

And the emotional rollercoaster starts.

We grow up and grow old in a world that seems to constantly conspire against us. From the beginning gravity is there … really to help us … but I remember how my kids struggled when they were infants in trying to move and lift their beautiful heads. Gravity was there to help them develop their muscles. I could see in their faces the struggle. Their bodies developed and changed and with that, new experiences awaited.

Crawling, walking, running. Bumping, falling, bumping again, crying. The feelings of not being able to accomplish a task to the level of perfection we want. Slowly developing dexterity but wishing it developed faster, because we cannot, quite so, play with that toy. And the world feels like it is small. And the world feels like a giant.

And we start to interact with other kids. This kid to my right is prettier, the one to the left uglier, in front of me too intelligent or not intelligent enough. We stretch our wings and we bump, we fall, we bump again. We compare and measure against our peers. Feelings rush to us. Feelings which we do not understand. Good feelings all of them. There is nothing negative; these feeling are eliciting us to adapt; to cope, to grow up one emotion at a time. But because we do not understand them we turn them into what they may not be. And more changes.

There is no stopping these changes. We cannot even slow them down. When we experience a good time we want to reproduce it. But since the circumstance are different every time, it cannot be reproduced. We are bummed or disappointed because it just is not again as we experienced it before.

Our bodies keep on developing. Our brains keep on absorbing and new experiences keep on morphing us. More emotional stuff comes with all of these. The baggage is from our parents, from us, from our friends, even from our grandparents. We already experienced rejection, but now it is more dramatic. That girl did not want to go out with me, or that boy said I was such and such. We are marked by these experiences. They prepare us for the future. Of course at the time we do not see it like that.

And life continues.

We go to school, learn all sorts of new things. We go to university and we unlearn every thing we learned before. More changes.

We find our other half, or so we think. We commit to life, or so we think. We now need to adapt to not just being one, but two, despite the promise of independence. Our emotions run us. Our responsibilities drive us. And all along not only do we change, but the world around us changes as well. We grow old; gray hair, wrinkles, reading glasses, kids!! Kids are the biggest change. Of all of the life changing events on our lives, kids just make us rewrite our books. Our plays change. We are super happy and that is when we realize … “now I am responsible for 3 … 4 … 5 …” and the focus changes.

And all along we make a futile attempt to stop all these. Actually, no .. we do not even try … but we want to … no wait, we do not want to. What the heck … how did I get here?!!

Life is changes, whether we like it or not. It is so hard to embrace that fact. Even when most of the changes are good.

And one day, when all is said and done, we are dead.

And the emotional rollercoaster stops.

1 Comment

Filed under General, Personal

One response to “Embracing Changes – Part I

  1. elizabeth

    As the wife mentioned in the blog entry, I feel it is my duty to further encourage this entry in the direction I was referring to initially. When I said that I like to read the entries that have emotion in them, I actually meant the blogger – Fabian – feeling the emotion. This entry, while an amazing first draft, is looking at the emotion from the safe vantage point of time and space. There is no actual feeling happening, and so, unfortunately, the entry is very dry. The topic is perfect for an emotional entry. You just need to pull down a couple layers of gauze between yourself and your actual feelings at the time. Instead of reporting “Feelings rush to us”, own the feeling, for example…”It was really hard not speaking the language, every time I had to open my mouth to communicate, it was so much effort just to say the simplest thing” – that has a little active emotion in it. The sentence, “feeling rush to us” is not only a very weak description, it isn’t even about you, it’s about the safe, proverbial “us”. It’s pretty much the ultimate cop out. It’s safe. What I really was asking for was … hermit crabs running amok. ducks out of their rows. pure emotional mayhem – the way life happens. I will be awaiting the next draft with an open heart and an eager mind.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s